The Day the BCS Went to Hell

Don McLean once sang about “The Day the Music Died.” Now, any day that is remembered as the day something died, would usually bring forth sadness and depression. So, why are collegefootball fans everywhere celebrating? Because, Saturday, November 19^th, 2011, may soon be come to be known as “The Day the BCS Went to Hell” That’s right, not just died, but went straight to hell. Why? Because last Saturday, in college football stadiums all throughout the country, all hell broke loose.

The first crack was made Friday night, when the mighty Iowa State Cyclones pulled a stunning upset over the offensive juggernaut Oklahoma State Cowboys, in double overtime.

The next day, while in a local Auburn sports bar, I, along with a few friends and about 70 belligerent 30 something old men, watched David after David, take down Goliath after Goliath. It was shocking. Robert Griffin III and Baylor took care of Oklahoma, the BCS number 5. The 2010 national championship runners up, Oregon, then number 4 in the BCS, went down to post-season-suspended Southern California. Earlier that day, BCS number 7 Clemson, was manhandled by North Carolina State.

So there it was; half of the top 8 teams in the country, defeated. The aftermath? Number one LSU stayed at the top of the polls, Alabama moved to number 2, and former number 6, Arkansas, moved up to number 3. Usually, at this point in the season, those three teams are the ones in the best position to play for the BCS National Title game. However, here’s the problem with that; All three of those teams, are not only in the same conference, but in the same division in the conference. It’s not only that nobody knows which of these teams will play in the national championship, but the SEC Championship. On top of that, LSU and Arkansas still have to play each other, and Alabama has Auburn left to play. Here is what we know; If LSU gets past Arkansas, they will play in the SEC championship against Georgia, and if they win that, they will play in the national championship game. But who would they play against? Could a single-conference national championship game be possible? The answer is yes. The scenarios are unending, but I’d rather not get into detail of all them because, quite frankly, they give me a migraine.

What I will address, is the fact that the way the teams that play in the BCS National Championship game may be changing soon. We’ve been close a number of times. In 2004, Southern Cal, Oklahoma, and Auburn all went undefeated. But, as you all know, only two teams get to play for the NC. Those teams were USC and Oklahoma, the top two BCS teams, as determined by the computers. USC won 55-10. What if Auburn had played in that game? Would the outcome have been the same? Who knows? All we Auburn faithful were given to heel our wounds? A sugar bowl victory over Virginia Tech, and a 14-0 banner in Jordan Hare Stadium. I could go on and on about the grief and anger I suffered, as a sixth grader, might I add, but I digress.

In 2006, there were two undefeated teams, but only one played for the NC. It was Heisman Trophy winner Troy Smith and Ohio State, playing the 12-1 SEC champion Florida Gators. Florida downright destroyed OSU that night, and coasted straight to the title. But what about that other undefeated team? It was little known Boise State. They were never given the chance to make it high enough in the rankings to play in the NC, due to their conference strength and strength of schedule (or lack thereof) but they were given a crack at a BCS bowl. They were up against perennial powerhouse Oklahoma in the Fiesta Bowl. Through trick plays, and gutsy calls, Boise State took down the Sooners in one of the greatest college football games of all time. Clearly, they had proved that they could play with the big boys, but still felt snubbed out of a chance for a National championship. What if they had played Florida?

2007 was quite the year for the BCS. It marked the first time that a two loss team (LSU) had played for the National championship. Ohio State made it again, and was again defeated. The team that finished the season at the number 10 spot that year? 12-0 Hawaii. Once again, a smaller conference team went undefeated and was denied a spot in championship. Hawaii however was not able to take down their “Goliath” foe in the Sugar Bowl, where they were beaten handedly by Georgia. Even so, the fact remains that they had the best record in the NCAA, but were nothing but an afterthought.

2008: The small conference team epidemic continued, but this time there were two. Utah went 12-0, as did, again, Boise State. Did they play for the national championship? Nope. Instead, they finished in the rankings at number six and number 9, respectively. Meanwhile 12-1 SEC champion Florida, captured another national championship, this time against Big 12 champion, 12-1 Oklahoma. (Just a side note, Florida’s only loss that year was to Auburn.)

Bored yet? Yet again in 2009, multiple teams went undefeated. Alabama, (national champion) Texas, (runner-up) Cincinnati, TCU, and, yet again Boise State. One would assume that those five teams ended the season as the top five teams in the BCS rankings. But, yet again, the computers gave Boise the snub, and ranked them number six behind 12-1 Florida.

So 2010, three teams undefeated again. But this time, Boise State was not one of them. Instead, it was Auburn, Oregon, and TCU. This was the second straight year that TCU didn’t lose a single game, which would bring about the assumption that they would play for the national championship, but no. Instead, it was Oregon and Auburn. Auburn won 22-19, just in case anyone had forgotten.

So, what’s the recurring theme here? A small conference team, that goes undefeated, continually gets the snub to the bigger conferences, and gets left wondering “what if we had a chance at the championship.” That question can be solved pretty easily if you ask me. It’s simple, really. You have got to determine who the best team in the country is ON THE FOOTBALL FIELD. That’s the only way it will ever be fair. We cannot continue to just grant the opportunity for a championship to a team based on what some computer says. It has be done on the field, and that’s that. There is no other solution and never will be, and I think, more than any time before, November 19^th, 2011 told us that.

10 Things to do During the NBA Lockout

1. Celebrate: That's right, I said it. There may be no NBA season this year, and that is cause for celebration. Why, you ask? Well for starters, we won't have to here anyone bitch and moan about how good their team is, and how they know they can win a championship, but give a million reasons why they haven't yet (Miami Heat). Another reason to take joy in the suffering of the NBA is the fact that ESPN will actually discuss something else for once. If you think about it, during the NBA season, it seems like all ESPN ever discusses is the latest trade request from some diva veteran, and the top 10 plays seems like its 9 dunks, followed by hundreds of British people rolling down a hill after a wheel of cheese (but that one never gets old.)

2. Watch Hockey: Probably one of the most underrated sports, hockey is incredibly fun to watch. In what other sport can you freely punch anyone in the face without any official interference? Anyone who watches hockey, almost automatically, develops some kind of respect for those who play it. If you are saying to yourself, "I could play hockey, if I could just ice skate" then no, you probably can't play hockey.

3. Spring Training Baseball: its sad today, how many people will talk about how baseball is boring. In my opinion, it is far from it. There is almost no better day on the calendar than opening day. But even before opening day, there is still plenty of fun to be had with America's pass time. I'm talking about spring training. I have been to spring training twice, and it is incredibly enjoyable. The Grapefruit League in Florida features some of the MLB's biggest market teams (Braves, Phillies, Yankees, and Cardinals) and some great stadiums. Spring training is a great time to get autographs, and some great food. It's also a great time to try and learn how to score a baseball game, which will make you 100% more involved in the game.

4. Take a Vacation: This one is a little bit of a stretch. If it takes a major sports association going down the tubes for you to take a vacation, god bless you. Equally, if you need a vacation simply because the NBA isn't having a season, god HELP you.

5. Make Jokes about Lebron James: Like this one: With the NBA locked out, Lebron is seriously considering taking up Hockey, highly based on the fact that they only play three periods.

6. Think About All the Cool Stuff Mark Cuban is Probably Doing: Smoking a Cuban, drinking 100 year old scotch, with a lingerie model, in a private casino, on the beach in Mexico......just kidding, its probably a lot cooler than that.

7. Get a Job: Because if you love the NBA this much, you probably don't have one.


8. Write an Angry Letter to David Stern: Because he probably doesn't get enough of those already. And remember, it is completely his fault that there isn't going to be an NBA season, and it has nothing to do with the greedy player who "really need" more money. No, really, they need it!

9. Make Some More Jokes About Lebron James: Here's another personal favorite: What's the difference between Saturn and LeBron James? They're both big and full of gas, but at least Saturn has rings.

10. Watch Michael Jordan Game Tape: Because the players in the NBA have destroyed it. Jordan did it for the passion and love of the game; these guys today are in it for nothing but the money.

A Football Team, Without Any Football Players

The men of the national football league dominate the sport of football.
They are the best in the world at the sport and exert said dominance every Sunday afternoon.Often, in sports, the gauntlet of challenges gets thrown down between sports of choice.
Just last year, there were talks of a foot race between Tennessee Titans running back Chris Johnson, and Olympic gold medalist Usain Bolt. So, what if these challenges were actually to take place? What if athletes from other sports decided to give football a try?
Here is a roster of what non-football athletes would put up the best challenge amongst the ranks of Tom Brady, Chris Johnson and the rest of the NFL.
Offense:
Quarterback: Roy Halladay, (6’6, 230 LBS) starting pitcher, Philadelphia Phillies. Halladay has an incredible ability to put the ball exactly where he wants to and has a rocket for an arm.--two attributes any quarterback would love to have.
Runningback: Nate Robinson, (5’9,180 LBS) Guard, Boston Celtics. Robinson has quick footwork, and incredible hops. In football, Robinson would look similar to Darren Sproles of the San Diego Chargers, and would not be featured as an every down back.
Runningback: Kobe Bryant, (6’6, 205) Guard, Los Angeles Lakers. While critics might point out that Bryant may be a little big for the running back position, there is no doubt he is an incredible athlete and he can do amazing things with his feet.
Fullback: Albert Pujols, (6’3 230) First baseman, St. Louis Cardinals. Pujols is just the right size for a full back, and has the body to be a physical blocker and the power to run with his head down if he needs to.
Wide Receiver: Lebron James, (6’8 250) Arguably the best athlete in the world right now, James is fast physical, and can jump through the roof. He would make a perfect receiver.
Wide Receiver: Usain Bolt, (6’4 198) He is the fastest man in the world. Nobody is going to be able to cover the fastest man in the world.
Tight End: Dwight Howard (6’11, 265), Center, Orlando Magic Howard is super athletic, strong and has a ridiculous leaping ability; not only would he be effective blocker, but also route runner and pass catcher.
Offensive line: Prince Fielder (5’11, 268) 1st baseman, Milwaukee Brewers, David Ortiz (6’4, 230) First baseman, Boston Red Sox, Roy Nelson (6’3, 263) MMA Heavywight fighter, Quinton Aaron, the actor who played Michael Oher in The Blind Side, and Pablo Sandoval (5’11, 230) 3rd Baseman, San Franciso Giants.
Defense:
Defensive End: Dwight Howard, let’s be honest he could play both ways.
Defensive Tackle: Brock Lesnar (6’3,265) MMA Heavyweight Champion. Lesnar is an absolute beast of a human, who has the strength and quickness to play tackle.
Defensive Tackle: Frank Mir (6’3, 252), MMA Heavyweight fighter. Mir is a tough, strong physical force who can deliver punches and take them.
Defensive end: Ron Artest, (6’7, 250) Forward, Los Angeles Lakers. Artest is mean and loves contact and delivering blows, in a no contact sport. He would be a force to be reckoned with in the NFL.
Linebacker: Jon “Bones” Jones, (6’4, 206). MMA light heavyweight figher. Jones loves contact and delivers suffering blows to his opponents, just like a linebacker should.
Linebacker: Mark Texiera, (6’3 220) 1st baseman, New York Yankees. Texiera has power and speed, and focused eyes for reading a quarterback.
Linebacker: Sidney Crosby (5’11,200) Center, Pittsburgh Penguins. He may be small, but the man can pack a punch, and is incredibly agile.
Cornerback: Dwayne Wade (6’4, 220) Guard, Miami Heat. Wade is almost perfect size for the corner position, and has good speed and great ball handling skills, and hops. He’s the perfect corner.
Cornerback: Chris Paul (6’0, 200) Guard, New Orleans Hornets. He’s the same as Wade, just smaller.
Cornerback: Tyson Gay, (5’11, 165) Sprinter, USA. Though he may not be ideal size, he once beat Usain Bolt, so rest assured he will never get beat deep.
Safety: Jordan Tootoo, (5’9, 197) Right Wing, Nashville Predators.
Though he may not be huge, Tootoo is quick on his feet and one of the most punishing hitters in the NHL, which is just what a safety needs to be coming over the top.

Immune to the Fever

Justin Bieber is somewhat talented.
By somewhat, I mean that his level of talent does not surpass in anyway the talent of any young pop fluff singer in the music business today.
Teenage girls and even some older women throughout America are obsessing over the young pop singer, who sings sappy love songs in an incredibly high pitched voice for a 16 year old adolescent male.
Sadly, this is the standard that teenage girls have begun to hold males to. Unbelievable.
Bieber has somehow hypnotized girls all throughout America with his droopy bright eyes and urban fashion sense.
These followers of Bieber have diagnosed themselves with “ Bieber Fever.”
Many females seem to think that this Bieber jokester is going to last forever, however, most of the fever patients seem to forget their medical history.
In the 1990s there were many boy bands that “took over America” for a period of about…2 years.
There was the Backstreet Boys, who had a couple of hit songs and managed to swindle millions of dollars out of musically blind females, selling out stadiums across the country to obsessive teenage girls.
However, after a short, uni-single come back in 2007, nobody ever heard of them again. FAD.
Then there was N*SYNC, big as, if not bigger than the Backstreet Boys.
While together the band sold out stadiums, sold millions of records and released numerous singles. N*SYNC made millions of dollars as well, many people thought they could go on forever. However, they were disbanded by 2000. FAD.
Justin Bieber is so similar to his unsubstantial 90s predecessors, that it is obvious that he is right on his way to being a has been.
There is no way someone like Beiber can keep his career going the way it is now.
Most likely, Bieber will keep fever patients going for a few more years, make more money than his teenage self knows what to do with, and waste all of it, go nowhere, have a voice change, keep trying to sing yet fail miserably and 20 years from now, we will see him on VH1’s “Most Washed Up Child Stars” claiming how the music industry ruined his life, but he will be releasing a new album soon revealing the “Darker Side of Justin Bieber.”
At least we will get some great Saturday Night Live jokes out of this, right?