Top 10 Christmas Characters

One of the biggest parts of Christmas is the music. Every year on the day after Thanksgiving, people start playing Christmas music, and do so on repeat until the holiday has come and gone. I have always found this a tad on the extreme side, and I tend to avoid Christmas music until at least the month of December. Some people may call me a curmudgeon (and believe me there are plenty of other areas of life where I am, due in large part to my father, who has diagnosed himself with “early-onset curmudgeon disorder) but, I can assure you that when it comes to Christmas, I am the farthest thing from it. Though I may not love Christmas music all the time, I can watch any Christmas themed movie any time during the year. I love Christmas movies. When they are well done, they can become instant classics. One of most important aspects, as it is with any movie, is the characters. A good character in a good movie can be remembered forever. As I said before, I love movies, especially Christmas movies, and with any good movie, comes good characters. So here is a list of the top 10 greatest Christmas movie characters. Enjoy.

#10. George Bailey, It’s a Wonderful Life- 1946: This movie is an American classic, and George Bailey is the main character. He is a down-on-his luck family man, who frequently puts aside his dreams and aspirations for the better of other people. Now if that’s not the Christmas spirit, I don’t know what is. I do know, however, that getting drunk and trying to kill yourself, is not. This is exactly what George Bailey does, when his Uncle loses a check for $8,000 for the housing project that George is running. Luckily an angel (who will appear on this list later) saves George, and shows him just what the town would look like had he never been born, as he had wished earlier. George’s story sends the message of giving over receiving with emphasis.

#9. Clarence Odbody- It’s a Wonderful Life- 1946: When I said that George’s guardian angel would be appearing on this list later, I meant right after George. Clarence Odbody is “an Angel, Second Class” meaning he does not yet have his wings. In the movie, St. Joseph tells Clarence of the trouble George has put himself in, and tells Clarence that if he can save George, and make him see the good he has done for countless others, then he will receive his wings, after over 200 years of trying. Clarence is a very love able character throughout the movie, and does end up saving George. It is because of Clarence that we have two of the most memorable lines in cinema history. One that he wrote in a copy of The Adventures of Tom Sawyer which he gave to George as a Christmas gift, which reads, "Dear George: Remember no man is a failure who has friends. Thanks for the wings! Love Clarence." The other comes right near the end of the film, when George is holding his daughter up next to a Christmas tree, and a bell on an ornament rings. His daughter happily says “Look daddy, teacher says, every time a bell rings, and angel gets his wings.”

#8. Dr. Neil Miller and Scott Calvin- The Santa Clause-1994: Played by Judge Reinhold, Dr. Neil Miller is the new husband of Tim Allen’s divorced wife in The Santa Clause. Miller is a psychiatrist, who is convinced that Tim Allen’s character, Scott Calvin, is insane. Scott Calvin is an extremely sarcastic character, who also happens to be Santa Claus. Miller is the brunt of numerous jokes throughout the movie, and his reactions are priceless. Laura (Scott’s Ex Wife: “All Neil told him was that Santa was more of a feeling. More of a state of mind than an actual person. Scott: Kind of like Neil.”

Charlie (Scott’s son): Neil doesn't believe in Santa
Scott: Well, Neil's head comes to a point.

Dr. Neil Miller: Scott, what was the last thing you and Charlie did, before you went to bed Christmas Eve?
Scott Calvin: We shared a bowl of sugar, did some shots of brown liquor, played with my shot guns, field-dressed a cat, looked for women...
Scott Calvin: I read him a book!
Dr. Neil Miller: What book?
Scott Calvin: Uh, "Hollywood Wives."
Scott Calvin: "The Night Before Christmas", folks, come on!

#7. Randy Parker- A Christmas Story- 1983: Possibly the most celebrated Christmas movie of all time, A Christmas Story is played almost as much as the music. It is the story of young Ralphie Parker’s attempt to convince his parents, or anyone else who will listen really, that he needs to get a Red Ryder BB Gun with a compass in the stock, and "this thing that tells time." This is the main plot, but the show is truly stolen by Ralphie’s little brother Randy. He does this in two classic scenes.

#6. Buddy the Elf- Elf- 2003: In short, Will Ferrell dresses up and talks like an elf for two hours. Hilarity ensues.

#5. Kevin McAllister-Home Alone- 1990: eight year old Kevin McCallister’s family has gone on Christmas vacation to France. But he hasn’t. In such a rush to leave, his family forgot to wake him up, and didn’t notice he was missing till they were 30,000 feet in the air. Alone at his house in Chicago, Kevin eats all the junk food and watches all the trash TV he wants. That is, until two burglars attempt to ruin all his fun. The rest of the movie shows just how clever Kevin is, as he sets up multiple intricate “Boobie Traps,” and eventually thwarts the criminals.

#4. The Grinch-How the Grinch Stole Christmas-200: This character has been played and replayed plenty of times, but perhaps never better than in 200, when Jim Carrey portrayed the green curmudgeon. The Grinch is a mean old monster type being who lives in a cave on a mountain overlooking the town of Whoville. The Grinch despises Christmas, and attempts to “Steal” it from the citizens of Whoville, but is soon taught that Christmas is not just a material holiday. Video

#3. Ebenezer Scrooge- A Christmas Carol: I didn’t include a year, based upon the fact that there have been so many variations of this story, and of Scrooge. It is a classic story of a mean old business man, who is obsessed with money, and cares very little for Christmas. After his associate Marley dies, he becomes a ghost and begins to haunt Scrooge. He tells Scrooge that he will be visited by three ghosts. These three ghosts are the ghost of Christmas past, (showing scrooge the errors of his past) the ghost of Christmas present, (showing Scrooge the error of his ways in the present day) and the ghost of Christmas future, who shows Scrooge that if he does not change his ways things will end “gravely.” (See what I did there?)

#2. Clark Griswold-National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation-1989: Clark Griswold set the standard for sarcastic, stressed out fathers in Christmas movies. Clark annoyed with his job, his unenthused children, and his parents, in-laws, and finally, the surprise arrival of his white-trash cousin, Eddie. Through all of this, Clark tries to stay positive and keep the Christmas spirit alive, but finally snaps when his expected big Christmas bonus turns out to be “A one year subscription to the jelly of the month club.”

#1. Cousin Eddie-National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation-1989: The undisputed #1 character on the list, is Edward Griswold, better known as Cousin Eddie. Cousin Eddie defines white trash. He is rude, crude, yet very entitled. He is a drunk, but still cares his family, as best he can, though it seems he cares more for his Doberman, Snots. Eddie is somewhat of an antagonist to Clark Griswold, and the interaction between the two is classic.

So, there it is; The 10 Best Christmas Characters of all time. In the words of Cousin Eddie; “Merry Christmas, shitter was full!”

The Day the BCS Went to Hell

Don McLean once sang about “The Day the Music Died.” Now, any day that is remembered as the day something died, would usually bring forth sadness and depression. So, why are collegefootball fans everywhere celebrating? Because, Saturday, November 19^th, 2011, may soon be come to be known as “The Day the BCS Went to Hell” That’s right, not just died, but went straight to hell. Why? Because last Saturday, in college football stadiums all throughout the country, all hell broke loose.

The first crack was made Friday night, when the mighty Iowa State Cyclones pulled a stunning upset over the offensive juggernaut Oklahoma State Cowboys, in double overtime.

The next day, while in a local Auburn sports bar, I, along with a few friends and about 70 belligerent 30 something old men, watched David after David, take down Goliath after Goliath. It was shocking. Robert Griffin III and Baylor took care of Oklahoma, the BCS number 5. The 2010 national championship runners up, Oregon, then number 4 in the BCS, went down to post-season-suspended Southern California. Earlier that day, BCS number 7 Clemson, was manhandled by North Carolina State.

So there it was; half of the top 8 teams in the country, defeated. The aftermath? Number one LSU stayed at the top of the polls, Alabama moved to number 2, and former number 6, Arkansas, moved up to number 3. Usually, at this point in the season, those three teams are the ones in the best position to play for the BCS National Title game. However, here’s the problem with that; All three of those teams, are not only in the same conference, but in the same division in the conference. It’s not only that nobody knows which of these teams will play in the national championship, but the SEC Championship. On top of that, LSU and Arkansas still have to play each other, and Alabama has Auburn left to play. Here is what we know; If LSU gets past Arkansas, they will play in the SEC championship against Georgia, and if they win that, they will play in the national championship game. But who would they play against? Could a single-conference national championship game be possible? The answer is yes. The scenarios are unending, but I’d rather not get into detail of all them because, quite frankly, they give me a migraine.

What I will address, is the fact that the way the teams that play in the BCS National Championship game may be changing soon. We’ve been close a number of times. In 2004, Southern Cal, Oklahoma, and Auburn all went undefeated. But, as you all know, only two teams get to play for the NC. Those teams were USC and Oklahoma, the top two BCS teams, as determined by the computers. USC won 55-10. What if Auburn had played in that game? Would the outcome have been the same? Who knows? All we Auburn faithful were given to heel our wounds? A sugar bowl victory over Virginia Tech, and a 14-0 banner in Jordan Hare Stadium. I could go on and on about the grief and anger I suffered, as a sixth grader, might I add, but I digress.

In 2006, there were two undefeated teams, but only one played for the NC. It was Heisman Trophy winner Troy Smith and Ohio State, playing the 12-1 SEC champion Florida Gators. Florida downright destroyed OSU that night, and coasted straight to the title. But what about that other undefeated team? It was little known Boise State. They were never given the chance to make it high enough in the rankings to play in the NC, due to their conference strength and strength of schedule (or lack thereof) but they were given a crack at a BCS bowl. They were up against perennial powerhouse Oklahoma in the Fiesta Bowl. Through trick plays, and gutsy calls, Boise State took down the Sooners in one of the greatest college football games of all time. Clearly, they had proved that they could play with the big boys, but still felt snubbed out of a chance for a National championship. What if they had played Florida?

2007 was quite the year for the BCS. It marked the first time that a two loss team (LSU) had played for the National championship. Ohio State made it again, and was again defeated. The team that finished the season at the number 10 spot that year? 12-0 Hawaii. Once again, a smaller conference team went undefeated and was denied a spot in championship. Hawaii however was not able to take down their “Goliath” foe in the Sugar Bowl, where they were beaten handedly by Georgia. Even so, the fact remains that they had the best record in the NCAA, but were nothing but an afterthought.

2008: The small conference team epidemic continued, but this time there were two. Utah went 12-0, as did, again, Boise State. Did they play for the national championship? Nope. Instead, they finished in the rankings at number six and number 9, respectively. Meanwhile 12-1 SEC champion Florida, captured another national championship, this time against Big 12 champion, 12-1 Oklahoma. (Just a side note, Florida’s only loss that year was to Auburn.)

Bored yet? Yet again in 2009, multiple teams went undefeated. Alabama, (national champion) Texas, (runner-up) Cincinnati, TCU, and, yet again Boise State. One would assume that those five teams ended the season as the top five teams in the BCS rankings. But, yet again, the computers gave Boise the snub, and ranked them number six behind 12-1 Florida.

So 2010, three teams undefeated again. But this time, Boise State was not one of them. Instead, it was Auburn, Oregon, and TCU. This was the second straight year that TCU didn’t lose a single game, which would bring about the assumption that they would play for the national championship, but no. Instead, it was Oregon and Auburn. Auburn won 22-19, just in case anyone had forgotten.

So, what’s the recurring theme here? A small conference team, that goes undefeated, continually gets the snub to the bigger conferences, and gets left wondering “what if we had a chance at the championship.” That question can be solved pretty easily if you ask me. It’s simple, really. You have got to determine who the best team in the country is ON THE FOOTBALL FIELD. That’s the only way it will ever be fair. We cannot continue to just grant the opportunity for a championship to a team based on what some computer says. It has be done on the field, and that’s that. There is no other solution and never will be, and I think, more than any time before, November 19^th, 2011 told us that.

10 Things to do During the NBA Lockout

1. Celebrate: That's right, I said it. There may be no NBA season this year, and that is cause for celebration. Why, you ask? Well for starters, we won't have to here anyone bitch and moan about how good their team is, and how they know they can win a championship, but give a million reasons why they haven't yet (Miami Heat). Another reason to take joy in the suffering of the NBA is the fact that ESPN will actually discuss something else for once. If you think about it, during the NBA season, it seems like all ESPN ever discusses is the latest trade request from some diva veteran, and the top 10 plays seems like its 9 dunks, followed by hundreds of British people rolling down a hill after a wheel of cheese (but that one never gets old.)

2. Watch Hockey: Probably one of the most underrated sports, hockey is incredibly fun to watch. In what other sport can you freely punch anyone in the face without any official interference? Anyone who watches hockey, almost automatically, develops some kind of respect for those who play it. If you are saying to yourself, "I could play hockey, if I could just ice skate" then no, you probably can't play hockey.

3. Spring Training Baseball: its sad today, how many people will talk about how baseball is boring. In my opinion, it is far from it. There is almost no better day on the calendar than opening day. But even before opening day, there is still plenty of fun to be had with America's pass time. I'm talking about spring training. I have been to spring training twice, and it is incredibly enjoyable. The Grapefruit League in Florida features some of the MLB's biggest market teams (Braves, Phillies, Yankees, and Cardinals) and some great stadiums. Spring training is a great time to get autographs, and some great food. It's also a great time to try and learn how to score a baseball game, which will make you 100% more involved in the game.

4. Take a Vacation: This one is a little bit of a stretch. If it takes a major sports association going down the tubes for you to take a vacation, god bless you. Equally, if you need a vacation simply because the NBA isn't having a season, god HELP you.

5. Make Jokes about Lebron James: Like this one: With the NBA locked out, Lebron is seriously considering taking up Hockey, highly based on the fact that they only play three periods.

6. Think About All the Cool Stuff Mark Cuban is Probably Doing: Smoking a Cuban, drinking 100 year old scotch, with a lingerie model, in a private casino, on the beach in Mexico......just kidding, its probably a lot cooler than that.

7. Get a Job: Because if you love the NBA this much, you probably don't have one.


8. Write an Angry Letter to David Stern: Because he probably doesn't get enough of those already. And remember, it is completely his fault that there isn't going to be an NBA season, and it has nothing to do with the greedy player who "really need" more money. No, really, they need it!

9. Make Some More Jokes About Lebron James: Here's another personal favorite: What's the difference between Saturn and LeBron James? They're both big and full of gas, but at least Saturn has rings.

10. Watch Michael Jordan Game Tape: Because the players in the NBA have destroyed it. Jordan did it for the passion and love of the game; these guys today are in it for nothing but the money.

A Football Team, Without Any Football Players

The men of the national football league dominate the sport of football.
They are the best in the world at the sport and exert said dominance every Sunday afternoon.Often, in sports, the gauntlet of challenges gets thrown down between sports of choice.
Just last year, there were talks of a foot race between Tennessee Titans running back Chris Johnson, and Olympic gold medalist Usain Bolt. So, what if these challenges were actually to take place? What if athletes from other sports decided to give football a try?
Here is a roster of what non-football athletes would put up the best challenge amongst the ranks of Tom Brady, Chris Johnson and the rest of the NFL.
Offense:
Quarterback: Roy Halladay, (6’6, 230 LBS) starting pitcher, Philadelphia Phillies. Halladay has an incredible ability to put the ball exactly where he wants to and has a rocket for an arm.--two attributes any quarterback would love to have.
Runningback: Nate Robinson, (5’9,180 LBS) Guard, Boston Celtics. Robinson has quick footwork, and incredible hops. In football, Robinson would look similar to Darren Sproles of the San Diego Chargers, and would not be featured as an every down back.
Runningback: Kobe Bryant, (6’6, 205) Guard, Los Angeles Lakers. While critics might point out that Bryant may be a little big for the running back position, there is no doubt he is an incredible athlete and he can do amazing things with his feet.
Fullback: Albert Pujols, (6’3 230) First baseman, St. Louis Cardinals. Pujols is just the right size for a full back, and has the body to be a physical blocker and the power to run with his head down if he needs to.
Wide Receiver: Lebron James, (6’8 250) Arguably the best athlete in the world right now, James is fast physical, and can jump through the roof. He would make a perfect receiver.
Wide Receiver: Usain Bolt, (6’4 198) He is the fastest man in the world. Nobody is going to be able to cover the fastest man in the world.
Tight End: Dwight Howard (6’11, 265), Center, Orlando Magic Howard is super athletic, strong and has a ridiculous leaping ability; not only would he be effective blocker, but also route runner and pass catcher.
Offensive line: Prince Fielder (5’11, 268) 1st baseman, Milwaukee Brewers, David Ortiz (6’4, 230) First baseman, Boston Red Sox, Roy Nelson (6’3, 263) MMA Heavywight fighter, Quinton Aaron, the actor who played Michael Oher in The Blind Side, and Pablo Sandoval (5’11, 230) 3rd Baseman, San Franciso Giants.
Defense:
Defensive End: Dwight Howard, let’s be honest he could play both ways.
Defensive Tackle: Brock Lesnar (6’3,265) MMA Heavyweight Champion. Lesnar is an absolute beast of a human, who has the strength and quickness to play tackle.
Defensive Tackle: Frank Mir (6’3, 252), MMA Heavyweight fighter. Mir is a tough, strong physical force who can deliver punches and take them.
Defensive end: Ron Artest, (6’7, 250) Forward, Los Angeles Lakers. Artest is mean and loves contact and delivering blows, in a no contact sport. He would be a force to be reckoned with in the NFL.
Linebacker: Jon “Bones” Jones, (6’4, 206). MMA light heavyweight figher. Jones loves contact and delivers suffering blows to his opponents, just like a linebacker should.
Linebacker: Mark Texiera, (6’3 220) 1st baseman, New York Yankees. Texiera has power and speed, and focused eyes for reading a quarterback.
Linebacker: Sidney Crosby (5’11,200) Center, Pittsburgh Penguins. He may be small, but the man can pack a punch, and is incredibly agile.
Cornerback: Dwayne Wade (6’4, 220) Guard, Miami Heat. Wade is almost perfect size for the corner position, and has good speed and great ball handling skills, and hops. He’s the perfect corner.
Cornerback: Chris Paul (6’0, 200) Guard, New Orleans Hornets. He’s the same as Wade, just smaller.
Cornerback: Tyson Gay, (5’11, 165) Sprinter, USA. Though he may not be ideal size, he once beat Usain Bolt, so rest assured he will never get beat deep.
Safety: Jordan Tootoo, (5’9, 197) Right Wing, Nashville Predators.
Though he may not be huge, Tootoo is quick on his feet and one of the most punishing hitters in the NHL, which is just what a safety needs to be coming over the top.

Immune to the Fever

Justin Bieber is somewhat talented.
By somewhat, I mean that his level of talent does not surpass in anyway the talent of any young pop fluff singer in the music business today.
Teenage girls and even some older women throughout America are obsessing over the young pop singer, who sings sappy love songs in an incredibly high pitched voice for a 16 year old adolescent male.
Sadly, this is the standard that teenage girls have begun to hold males to. Unbelievable.
Bieber has somehow hypnotized girls all throughout America with his droopy bright eyes and urban fashion sense.
These followers of Bieber have diagnosed themselves with “ Bieber Fever.”
Many females seem to think that this Bieber jokester is going to last forever, however, most of the fever patients seem to forget their medical history.
In the 1990s there were many boy bands that “took over America” for a period of about…2 years.
There was the Backstreet Boys, who had a couple of hit songs and managed to swindle millions of dollars out of musically blind females, selling out stadiums across the country to obsessive teenage girls.
However, after a short, uni-single come back in 2007, nobody ever heard of them again. FAD.
Then there was N*SYNC, big as, if not bigger than the Backstreet Boys.
While together the band sold out stadiums, sold millions of records and released numerous singles. N*SYNC made millions of dollars as well, many people thought they could go on forever. However, they were disbanded by 2000. FAD.
Justin Bieber is so similar to his unsubstantial 90s predecessors, that it is obvious that he is right on his way to being a has been.
There is no way someone like Beiber can keep his career going the way it is now.
Most likely, Bieber will keep fever patients going for a few more years, make more money than his teenage self knows what to do with, and waste all of it, go nowhere, have a voice change, keep trying to sing yet fail miserably and 20 years from now, we will see him on VH1’s “Most Washed Up Child Stars” claiming how the music industry ruined his life, but he will be releasing a new album soon revealing the “Darker Side of Justin Bieber.”
At least we will get some great Saturday Night Live jokes out of this, right?

The Loss of a Legend

Tonight, October 5th, 2011, the world lost one of it's greatest minds and imaginations.

Steve Jobs, creator of Apple inc, one of the most successful companies in recent history, has passed away, losing a battle to cancer. Last month, jobs retired the CEO position, but planned to stay in a position on the board.

The death of Steve Jobs casts a dark shadow for many reasons, the largest of which may be because with him, goes one of the greatest imaginations the world has ever seen. The power of imagination is often underestimated, and is something that is lost on the current generation, due in large part to the imagination of the century before us with the invention of the internet and television etc..

Steve Jobs is comparable to that kid in elementary school that everyone wanted to be like. When the iPod came out, other technological companies drew a blank. The Walkman went obsolete in what seemed like minutes. We saw a copy cat of the iPod in the Zune, but it came nowhere close to ever competing. Especially when a Zune stayed a Zune, and the iPod branched out into what seemed like endless versions of itself, that all included new features, that left other companies in a state of shock, only being able to install these themselves once they had seen the model from Jobs and the boys.

Jobs was one of the most intelligent men ever to walk the earth, not only tech wise, but business wise as well, and here's why: Most people would agree that technology is ever changing, and it seems as though as instantly as a new piece of technology is released, it becomes obsolete, which reigned true through Steve Job's entire career at Apple. Jobs knew what the people wanted, and he gave it to them. It's really that simple. People in this day and age are always looking for the next best thing, and Jobs was, without fail, always there to give it to them.

Of all these things, the imagination, the smarts, the business brilliance; one thing stands out above them; Humility. Jobs was quoted as saying “Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn’t matter to me … Going to bed at night saying we’ve done something wonderful… that’s what matters to me.” This is an incredibly inspirational quote. Jobs was a millionaire, a hundred times over, and it didn’t matter to him one bit. Like I said before, imagination is nearly a dead concept, and humility may be well on its way as well, and Jobs had both of these, in copious amounts. The world not only lost a man today, the world lost a true inspiration. RIP, Steve.

Damn Yankees! And Some Other Damn Teams.

Every team has one, no matter what sport. No matter what team you root for, there always seems to be another one somewhere out there that seems to always get the best of your team. This is the basis for sports rivalries, if you disagree, I urge you to look at these examples, I'll give you one or two from all three major sports. (Baseball, Football and Basketball).

Baseball #1: The Boston Red Sox and The New York Yankees. One of, if the not the greatest rivalry in sports, there are not enough curse words in the world for these two sets of fans to describe how they feel about each other. Here's the proof: From 1923 to 2000, the Yankees won the World Series 26 times frequently defeating the Sox in the postseason. How many did the Red Sox win? A whopping...zero. Cue Sox nation saying "Damn Yankees."

But the tides would change in October 2004. The Yanks led the Sox 3-0 in the NLCS. By some miracle of god (or Babe Ruth, whatever you wanna believe.) the Sox won four straight games behind the bats of David Ortiz, Johnny Damon and Manny Ramirez, and pitching of Curt Schilling. And so all of the Bronx let out a cry of "Damn Red Sox."

Speaking of Johnny Damon, how do you think Sox fans felt when he showed up in Fenway wearing a Yankee uniform? I shouldn't have to type it again.

Baseball #2: The Atlanta Braves/The Philadelphia Phillies vs the rest of the NL East.
First, let me say that I am not in any way making the Braves and Phillies out to be some sort of buddy-buddy connected team. I am a Braves fan, and I hate the Phillies with every fiber of my being.

With that being said, from 1993 to the present day, only one team not named the Phillies or the Braves has won the division. The New York Mets won it in 2006. The Braves lead the division with 11 all time wins, followed closely by the Phillies, who have 10. The third most? the Pittsburgh Pirates, who are now members of the NL Central. The other three teams now in the division, (NY Mets, Washington Nationals, Florida Marlins) have a combined 6 division titles. The Mets lead that category with 5, the Nationals have 1, (Montreal Expos), and the Marlins have none. As for the current season, the Phillies (88-48) have a 7.5 lead over the second place (you guessed it) Braves (82-57),while the Braves hold a steady 8.5 game lead over the St. Louis Cardinals. The Mets (68-70) sit 21 games back of first, the Nationals (64-74) are 25 games out, and the Marlins are a whopping 27.5 games out of first place. It doesn't look like anything will be changing anytime soon.

Football #1: The Indianapolis Colts vs The New England Patriots.
The Colts, for all intents and purposes, are considered to be a powerhouse in the NFL. Year after year, they cruise through the AFC south with seemingly no trouble. Since the division began in 2002, the Colts have won 7 of the 9 championships. Their combined record over those seven years is an astounding 87-25. One would think that a team that was able to cruise through the NFL like this would capture Super Bowl titles at whim, but no, they were only able to win one Super Bowl (2006), they made it back in 2009, but were defeated by Drew Brees and the Saints. Why is this, you ask? The Colts have "That damn team" too, and it comes in the form of the New England Patriots.

In 2003, the Patriots defeated the Colts 24-14 in the AFC championship game on their way to a Super Bowl victory over the Carolina Panthers. In 2004, despite being the highest scoring team in the league, the Colts only managed one field goal in a 20-3 defeat at the hands of the Patriots once again, this time in the divisional round. Since those games, the Colts have seemed to have finally gotten a hang of it, but the fact remains that Peyton Manning has one Super Bowl Ring, while Tom Brady has 3. At least Peyton makes all those commercials.

Basketball #1. Now, I don't much care for basketball, and am going to try to avoid discussing it at all, (much like politics) but I'm trying to make a point. When people think of basketball rivalries, most would instantly think of Duke vs North Carolina. But I want to present a rivalry that many people may not be aware of.

Did you ever have an older sibling? Did that sibling ever seem to soak up all the glory? Whether they were the valedictorian, homecoming king, star athlete, or all three (god bless you if that was the case)? We have all heard people, or in this instance, sports teams, referred to as somebody's insignificant little brother.

When it comes to basketball, the team that fits this description, almost to a tee, is none other than the Los Angeles Clippers. If you just said "Wait, you mean the Lakers?" you're probably not the only one. I am willing to bet that a lot of people who aren't avid sports fans even knew the Clippers exist.

So why do the Clippers take the little brother role to the Lakers? For lack of a better word, the Clippers, well, Suck. They are a miserable franchise, that may never make it out of the ENORMOUS shadow of the Lakers. Here are the facts:

1. The Clippers were founded in 1970, since then they have won zero championships; NBA, conference or division. The Lakers? Since 1970 they have won the NBA finals eleven times,earned 19 conference titles and have won the division 22 times.

2. The Clippers haven't made the playoffs since 2006, whereas the the Lakers have only been left out of the postseason 5 times in their entire franchise history.

3. This may be the biggest reason why the Clippers have always been buried under the shadow of the Lakers: The Lakers have 23 hall of famers (16 players, 4 head coaches, 1 assistant coach, and 2 contributors). The Clippers....have 3. Enough said.

So there it is, no matter how good you think your team may be, there will always be that "Damn Team" in the way. And they aren't going away any time soon.

iTakeOvertheWorld/ Matthew McConaughey's Only Good Movie

I enjoy a wide a variety of music; Rap, Rock, Folk, Country, I really can learn to enjoy anything. Often when listening to music, I take advantage of the "Shuffle" feature on my iPod, which can take me straight from a slow, live version of "Gravedigger" (Dave Matthews) to fast paced "A Milli" (Lil' Wayne) in a matter of seconds. A few days ago, I was sitting down to work on a paper and clicked shuffle on, needless to say, I did not get to far into the paper.

The first song that came on was "Slow Ride" from Foghat's 1975 album "Fool for the City." The song has been featured in over 14 TV shows and movies, one instance of which immediately jumped to my mind. In the final scene of "Dazed and Confused" we see one of the main characters, Mitch Kramer, walk back in his house at sunrise after a night of smoking weed, drinking, vandalism, and finally a late night "Picnic" with a sophomore girl, whom Mitch met at a pool hall earlier that evening. All of this takes place only after Mitch and his friends spend the afternoon being chased down and hazed by the seniors at their high school, based solely on the fact that they are upcoming freshmen.

As soon as Mitch enters his house, his mother instantly begins to haggle him, which he casually shrugs off (which we've all done before), walks into his room, puts on head phones, and begins to block out his mothers voice with "Slow Ride." Right as she says "Mitch, have you been drinking?"

Dazed and Confused just happens to be one of my all time favorites, but sadly I have never actually possessed the movie. After the thought of this scene ran through my mind, I suddenly had an unbeatable craving to watch the entire movie. Thus began my long and difficult my journey.

I started out just asking around in my dorm, nobody had a copy. Then I started asking other people on campus, but no dice. I would have to buy it. I spent 30 minutes looking through the movies at Target, to no avail. I had the same results at Wal-Mart, and I even tried Kroger (no one appreciates the classics). I came home defeated, for a while I considered an illegal download, but thought better of it. I resolved to just listen to the soundtrack. I opened up iTunes, and searched the movie's name. This is where technology came into play.

iTunes, along with anything else with the "i" prefix, has pretty much taken over the music business. Having not felt accomplished enough, iTunes set its aim for the "In-home movie" business. I was finally able to see "Dazed" thanks to "i." I rented it on iTunes for four dollars. This was both exciting and disappointing to me. My sister has always has been an "i" lover. Anything with 'i', she has it. I always told her how silly it was to spend the extra money just so you can make your face look weird in pictures. I have eaten my words. If it wasnt for 'i' I would still be Dazed and Confused.

As for the movie itself, I feel like it gets better every time I watch. It focuses on the marijuana/alcohol induced adventures of high school students in Austin, Texas on the last day of school/first night of summer in 1976. The movie shows us a 360 degree view of the high school experience. You've got your Nerds, Jocks (and the girls who have sex with them), the stoners, the freshmen, and even the old guy who cant let go of the glory (post on this topic coming soon). In "Dazed" there is one character who ties all these cliques together.

Randall "Pink" Floyd is the movies main character. He is a star quarterback (jock), which clearly comes with the benefits of clique #3, who also enjoys smoking weed frequently (stoners). Pink is also friends with three of the so called nerds, and often tells them of parties and other things going on, which they frequently decline. Pink is a senior, which means it is his duty to haze any upcoming freshman. Pink's friends take this a lot more seriously than he does, he is never seen actually doing any hazing.

After one freshman gets a particularly bad beating, Pink drives him home and tells him to come out with him and his friends later to have a couple beers. This freshman is the stories other main character, the aforementioned Mitch Kramer. Mitch does go out with Pink and his friends, but it is more than just "having a few beers." The events of the night go from smoking pot, to drinking, to vandalism in a matter of seconds. The night eventually leads to a party in a field near a large radio tower. All of the cliques show up, and we see Pink interact with all of them, including the girls.

Along with all the hilarity and superb acting that comes with "Dazed" I think there is an underlying theme. "Anti- judgement" seems to play a big part in the film. Mostly through Pink. He never utters a sour word about any person or group of people, though everyone around him attempts to tell him how much another group sucks.

His football coaches and teammates hate his stoner friends (Pickford, Slater, Wooderson, AKA the old guy) who are, well, too stoned to care. The seniors hate Kramer, but Pink sticks up for him. And when Kramer complains about the Seniors, he then sticks up for them. He even breaks up a fight between a thug and a nerd, something most high school kids would stand and enjoy.

Pink never falters in his commitment to equality. He treats everyone with respect, whether they spend their free time measuring chemicals or smoking them, which is a quality not seen in many people. Kudos, Richar Linklater, kudos indeed.