Twitter, quite frankly, has taken over the world. Daily, millions of twitter users are logging on the social networking site to get updates on their friends, sports, local or global news or what have you. All these things are bunched into 140 characters, so as not to strain the mind of the users. I was very reluctant to sign up for Twitter, but, like most, was hooked quickly. It is an incredibly convenient way to get news, on pretty much anything. One of the biggest reasons I use Twitter, is for the jokes. Amongst all the nonsensical political talk, sports debates, and females from the ages of 12-17 shaving their every emotion into 140 characters, there is some pretty funny stuff out there. Here is a list, in no particular order, of what I think to be ten of the funniest accounts on Twitter.
1. The Fake ESPN: @TheFakeESPN. I put these guys first on the list, because they are easily the funniest out of the ten. They absolutely rip on athletes in a hilarious way. They frequently attempt to mentally attack one of my least favorite people in the sports world, LeBron James. (“How can you say that LeBron has changed”….right) Example Tweet: “After treating LeBron for choking, doctors trying to narrow down whether his allergy is to 4th quarters, free throws, or winning in general.” There is plenty more where that came from, so follow these people now.
2. Best Worst Advice: @BestWorstAdvice. Another team account, Best Worst Advice has a certain format to their tweets. They will pose a question about every day human problems like “Want to teach your child the value of a dollar?” and then they’ll answer with something like this “Get him a job at a sweatshop.” If you don’t mind slightly dirty jokes, then give these folks a follow.
3. The Dark Lord: @Lord_Voldemort7. Yes, this actually exists. Somebody made a twitter account for the evil person with seven books and eight films worth of murder attempts on Harry Potter, and it’s actually pretty funny. The user constantly tweets about how Potter Author J.K. Rowling didn’t feel like writing him a nose. He also addresses trending topics regularly. “#2011Lies: Till death do us part-Kim Kardashian.” If you’re not a Potter fan, you probably won’t find this account very funny, and if you are, you’re probably already following him, so I’ll skip the suggestion on this one.
4. Shooter McGavin: @ShooterMcGavin_ Shooter McGavin is another account based off of a movie villain. McGavin is the main antagonist in Adam Sandler’s gold comedy “Happy Gilmore.” McGavin’s signature move is flashing a finger pistol, or two, which is emphasized on the Twitter account. “Hey @MattBarkley, when you make your decision today, *jog to podium* *USC jersey launch* “NFL BABY!” *Single pistol Lane* *pop collar* *walk out*
5. Puns: @omgthatspunny: This one is pretty self-explanatory, they tweet puns. Here are a few samples; “Those who live beyond their means should act their wage” “Things made in Australia are high koala-ty” #punny
6. Shit Girls Say: @shitgirlssay: Again, self-explanatory. Some of my favorites: “Am I Hungry?” “First of all, ew” “why would you even say something like that?”
7. Conan O’Brien: @ConanOBrien. Late night host Conan O’Brien doesn’t tweet all that often, but he is pretty funny when he does. He humorously makes light of things going on in the world, and he is good at it. “The University of Oregon Ducks won the Rose Bowl? I haven’t said “Congratulations Ducks!” Since I watched mallards have an orgy in my pool.”
8. Jim Gaffigan: @JimGaffigan: Another comedian, Gaffigan is simply hilarious. If you’ve never seen his stand up special, go watch it. Also, you should follow him on Twitter, to see things like this; “I love how Tom Coughlin looks furious even when the Giants win. Makes me miss my Dad.”
9. Daniel Tosh: @DanielTosh: The host of Tosh.0 is just as funny on Twitter as he is on his show. He frequently gets hate tweets, and responds to them with hilarious and biting sarcasm. He also makes fun of athletes, pulling no punches. “Take Romo’s ability to throw on the run w/Sanchez’s competiveness, & Tebow’s soul- you get a QB that could back up Aaron Rodgers.
10. Breakiing News: @BreakiingNews: Much like @TheFakeESPN, @BreakiingNews is a parody of its more serious counterpart, @BreakingNews. The account comments on current events with a humorous twist, and sometimes completely fabricates its own stories. “Breaking: Avatar 2 has been pushed back to 2016” “Breaking: Taylor Lautner is gay. In related news, Taylor Swift has just been given 3 albums worth of writing material.”
